My furry old friend

Glasgow was a very stubborn dog in love with rain. Half Tuscan shepherd dog, half Husky, he was a gift I received almost 17 years ago.
When I saw him for the first time he lived with his furry parents in a country house not far from Rome. It was a very messy place, almost dirty, I’d say, and Glasgow was on sale for 50.000 old Liras (25 €). Too young too leave his mum, I was able to bring him home when he was 2 month old.
“You belong to me”. This is what he always told me, with his paw on my foot, and his muzzle among my knees. And somehow I will always belong to my Wolf.
A few years ago I had to leave him to my mum and sister, but I went to see him as often as I could.
One year ago, Glasgow, after a very honorable & healthy life, started to have mobility problems because of arthritis. His back legs were slowly failing him. Our vet helped as much as he could but when you are a 16 year old dog, unfortunately, you cannot get (much) better.
Every week he got a little weaker.
Recently I had 10 days of nightmares. I kept on waking up panicked around 4:30 thinking of him, unable to find back my sleep.
I knew that he needed me.
There are things you feel deep inside, and speak louder than words. There are animal-human friendships stronger than human ones…
I couldn’t let him go without being by his side.
I flew to him last Friday, booked a plane 3 hours before the take off. As soon as he smelt my hand he licked me and then put his head on my legs. We sat together for over 5 hours, head in hands. Not a cry, he just tried to raise a couple of times but he couldn’t.
What is a honorable life, I asked my vet and old friend?
As long as you see that he’s happy to live, that his main functions are ok, that he has a sparkle in his eye, that he can move…
Glas the runner had lost his pride. He was just waiting. Waiting not to suffer anymore, and sometimes I wonder if he was waiting for me as well.
Am I doing the right thing, vet-friend?
Yes, you are. You certainly are.
Then he told me I could leave, if I wanted.
Leave…? I was there here for him, how could I leave…
I sat again, embracing his head with my hands, feeling life slowly flowing away from him, like a quiet river going to the sea. He fell asleep, and I felt peace. But now I feel so empty.
I dug his grave, together with my sis, the sun shining bright above our heads. He’s now resting among olive trees, and I truly hope he forgave me because I had to decide for him.
I love you Big Wolf, always will.

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14 thoughts on “My furry old friend

  1. Oh Laura, such a beautiful post, so much love. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend and companion xxx I completely understand every emotion you have shared and I send you all of my love at such a sad time xxx

  2. Wonderfully written, reminding me of my dear friend, Ibo, who died a few years ago. She helped me become who I am today and made me realize that I could indeed become a father. I miss her every day. thanks for your wonderful tribute….

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